I thought shutting eyes to it would work
I thought turning head away would work
I thought staying busy would work
I thought change of air would work
I thought it would all work a marvel
But my mind kept running in circles
To find the answers for the echoing questions that once my heart asked

So vivid the memories run
In fear of despair of what ifs
Muddy and grainy the mind is blurred
All connections lost
The undercurrent now becoming a storm
Rising beneath my breath
Taking over my head
I wonder if I’ll ever heal
I wonder if I’ll ever be
Those things I dreamed of or just remain a keep tied to the shackles of the rustic door which leads to a time agone.

I wonder if I ever will be able to look past it
Move on to a garden that bursts into life
Or maybe
Just maybe I was the glitch in design
To feel all the pain and wonderment
Of what all this life could be.

Through aches and passive pain
I shall bear
I shall heal
But once the fire in me doused out
Would you come and hold me tight?
Not a word to be whispered
Not a breath to be heard
Just your warmth against my skin
Just your beating heart against my hollow chest.

As the currents rise above the tides
I shall maketh the strides
In hope of long lasting love
Clasped like a twig inside your glove.