I know I am not fun anymore
I don’t find ways to entertain you now
I know I am not caring anymore
I don’t dig the reasons behind your sorrow filled words now
I know I am not yours anymore
I am not because I was never
It’s tiring now
I remember when it was more than effortless, it was my want
I cared, you devoured
Asked to stay longer, I stayed
Asked to love longer, I loved
Asked to feed your flame, I fed
And in that tale of simple kindness, I faded away
Now I can see so clearly through your soul, your need for me to want you
I am tired now of your silly antics and those trivial methods you play so well
“Why don’t you give up?” I ask in annoyance
“When will you give up?” I wonder in hope
Your demands of my time bother me
In more ways than one, it itches my heart and crumbles my spine
Don’t you see that I know that you know that I know but we still have it the oblivious way that none of us know
It aches my heart to wonder if that we can be all that we could be.
But aren’t because of your silly need to be wanted
Helpless desire to be heard, to be validated, to be applauded
bothers every nerve in my soul
So now that I give up
I slowly walk away as desired but not in the direction proposed
I shall slip away
Slowly and slowly
Farther and farther
Somewhere you wouldn’t bother me
Somewhere I could be all that I can be
Somewhere I wouldn’t need you
Somewhere it wouldn’t bother me that I might be bothering you
You won’t approve of me first
You will hate me by the second
You will ignore me by the third
You will try by the fourth
You will pacify by the fifth
You will turn indifferent by the sixth
You won’t care a damn by the seventh
And upon the dusk of the seventh, my soul shall be set free off the shackles I caged myself in to submit in your ambition.
And upon the dawn of the eighth, I shall be liberated to discover what I mean to me.
Finally I will know that it is my world.
Where I make peace with my breath. Where I am kind without validation.
Where I am free with my thoughts.
Where I can smile without you asking me why.
Where I can lay forever and die.
Finally you’ll know that it is your world.
Where you need to feed your fire.
Where you need to cuddle yourself to sleep.
Where you wipe your tears and make your heart sing.
Where I won’t be there to tell you “This too shall pass.” Because sooner or later, honey, this too shall pass.