Doses of fears
Stretches of silence
Cross-grained nerve
Draws a being I don’t want to be

Haste decisions
Far fetched dreams
Long due fights
Screaming meltdown I don’t want to be

Silent wonders
Muted cries
Holes in your apologies
Disdain filled renegade I don’t want to be

Solemnity cracks upon my burial ground
The lighthouse of ashes that stands
Mighty and tall
Hollow and void
Weak hearted as I am, I don’t want to be

Psyche as it sees
Wonders what could be
Happy plays
And showers of joy
Longing for love, I don’t want to be

Amiss and wronged
Worried and rotted
I lay upon the floor so cold
Reaching out to that whirling luminance
Wherever it goes; lost, I didn’t want to be.